No! It’s not always been this way. No! The Indian society wasn’t always a sick one. No! Women were not always, and are not always treated with disrespect and objectified – but, today – things are different… The Bollywood impact. The lack of education. The taboo on sex education. Personal and professional frustrations. Lack of proper upbringing due to multiple reasons…
Well, I’m sick – to say the least – of telling myself, and those who care to talk about India, her womenfolk and their safety - that this is not India, not MY India. I'm tired of giving explanations and believing that it's my duty to defend every heinous act of this nature in India.
At first, I believed in what I said. I thought it. But then, I wondered if I had always lived in a ‘make-belief world’ that I was made to believe in by those who loved me and taught me. I was naïve.
When I spoke to my friends and family in India, I often heard, “Oh, it’s been happening for years. It’s only now that the media is highlighting certain cases.”
Media publicity or not, the matter of the fact is that the Indian thread of morals and ethics is weak – the fibre of our society continues to disintegrate. Whether now or from the times wherein the Mahabharata or Ramayana have been portrayed - I do not know. But yes, the Indian culture and society is being scrutinized, criticized and exposed in a demeaning light.
Every time India is in the news for rape or women abuse - I, the face of India in the land I now call home - wish I could don a ‘ Burkha’, vanish or dissolve into the earth for a bit to hide from pointed questions. Questions pertaining to India’s mental health, the sex route taken by the people from the land of the Kamasutra, the value attached to the woman when Indians (read Hindus) worship so many Goddesses (some of the people even rattle off names including Lakshmi, Parvati, Saraswati, Durga and Kali).
With those non-Indians more aware of Indian mythology – I always come to conclude that it’s a stupid paradigm the Indians are stuck in. Men have shown their uncouth and lowly behavior in the Ramayana (asking for Sita’s ‘agni pareeksha’ without having to give one), the Mahabharata (by way of Draupadi’s disrobing or ‘cheer haran’ – and doing this, after the five showed complete respect towards Kunti, their mother, by being unable to disobey her statement to ‘share whatever’ they had brought home). But that does not – and should not become inherent to the Indian male… or, does it?
So, once again with Nirabhaya’s case of 2012 in the limelight again, there I went – defending this time, not India and her culture, by my own personal culture. Why, I even saw myself distancing myself from my country I was born in and its population that makes up so many friends and family of mine. Explaining, elaborating, and learning as I went along.
Recently, I, too, like many in the world watched India’s daughter.
What really upset me was not Nirabhaya’s story. She’s gone. She’s dead. She’s an unfortunate part of history – but fortunate to be away from her pain – physical and emotional. May her soul rest in peace if possible.
What really got my blood boiling was the disgusting culprit.
He blamed her for the rape!
What’s worse – there was an actual defense that took up his case. The less said about this atrocious beast the better.
This advocate comes across as an insane brainless twit to say the least (and here, I stop to for otherwise the explicates I might go into may shock the sensibilities of many). Quoting this sick mind briefly: “A girl is just like a flower. It gives a good looking, very softness... performance, pleasant [sic]. On the other hand a man is just like a thorn. Strong, tough enough. That flower always needs protection. If you put that flower in a gutter it is spoilt. If you put it in the temple, it is worshipped." He adds, "India has the best culture. No place for a woman in our culture."
Wake up! A woman gave you birth. A woman is who you worship and who you work for in the hope that she always stays with you in the form of Lakshmi. A woman is what is made you a lawyer – count the blessings of Saraswati who you revered on each day of your examinations. Fear the wrath of Kali and Durga!
Still, I am a soft-hearted woman. I wish him well. And with all the kindness and pity I can muster up for this guy –I wish him a slow, shameful, painful long years of assault that remind him of every woman’s pain who was ever raped in - no – not the world, just in Delhi.
And then, just as I feel I have nothing left to say, and am completely numbed by the countrymen, I read this: "It's a very safe city." This has been stated by the Additional Deputy Commissioner, Delhi Police. And, it just happens to be the rape capital of India, right?
What have you been smoking, man?