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Tuesday 9 July 2013

A new beginning...

It wasn't as if I'd been unhappy in my job - I mean - who minds getting 'moolah' for a job that pays more for less and gives you all the flexibility you need. But then, there were things annoying me - these included:
. Getting more for less (sigh! the guilty conscience kept placing it's angelic halo on my head!)
. Being home - but at work. Seeing the kids, but getting the nannies to enjoy them.
. Boredom - just waiting for work to trickle in...
. Lack of job satisfaction - I call it - no pride, no fun.
. Escapism - yes, my job had become my route to escape the daily routine of essential chores I considered mundane - despite the fact that I had to deal with them in my so-called 'free-time'

And then there was this feeling that I was meant to do more... something else.... this was not my road to retirement... there has to be more! More fun. More joy. More life!

So after due contemplation - I decided to search for a purpose in life.Many things came to mind. Things I feel strongly about. Things that make me furious, that make me tear up with emotion, that make me want to dance with joy... so much! But - options where I can contribute, grow and gain the pleasures of the world at the same time...I have to still look at the viability of it all.

Fear - that was another element that plagued me. What if I quit and never find a purpose in my life or a job that fits my needs? What if my friends and family lose respect for me now that for a while - I might be just a housewife who spends but brings in nothing.

FALSE - I have realized over the years that the misnomer "Just a housewife" is probably the worst misnomer in history! There's no "just" about being a housewife - gosh! you've got to be a wife, friend, mum, caretaker, cook, cleaner, sounding board of the family and so much more... It's not just in any way to call a housewife 'just'a housewife. But still - there was the other side to it - not contributing monetarily, not engaging in business talks, not being able to contribute to anything beyond the four walls of the home. Would I be able to live with that?

The clear answer was "no"! So yes, I had to do something. However small, however insignificant in this world of bigger things - I have to do something. Step 1 would be to clear my head, give myself time and space and follow my dream... a dream that I've had since I was a teenager. A dream that I did not feel strongly about - simply due to the fear of failure. but a dream all the same...

For now - I have only put in my resignation.

This winter will see a new me - hopefully - a new and improved me :)
Wish me luck! :)




8 comments:

Neeru said...

Good luck Aradhana, you have taken the first step, which took courage!
It may take time, but you will find an outlet for your talent, just enjoy being 'just a housewife' for the time being. It takes grace to accept and celebrate what ever comes your way , hugs from Sanjeev and me:)

Neeru said...

Good Luck Aradhana, you have taken the first step, which required immense courage. You will find an avenue for your talent, till such time, enjoy being 'Just a Housewife" that's a good place to be. It takes grace to accept an enjoy whatever comes your way, you will be alright. Best wishes from all of us

Anshuman said...

All the best! There you go. ;-)

Shivangi said...

oh my! First I had no idea you had a blog..I am signing up right away because I love reading your stories! and secondly good luck for the next step! You are such a level-headed person that you must have thought through it all even if you go through moments of doubt. This is going to be fun for you :)

Unknown said...

Dear all, thank you for your best wishes, your faith and encouragement :) Not doing anything big - just taking a break to be with the family - my kids, husband, home - and most of all - to find 'me'. the blog says it all :)

Shashi said...

Dear Aradhna, DON'T WORRY ABOUT ANYTHING. Four years ago, I quit a high-enough media job that paid lakhs a month for reasons somewhat similar to yours.
Today the ONLY regret I have is that I didn't do it earlier.
Just enjoy your new life... and make the most of it. Smelling the roses is as important as anything else in life. Love and peace. Shashi


Creativ-ity said...

summer well described......

Unknown said...

Hi everyone,
Well - yes! I did quit. But then - I went back as a communication consultant and enjoyed the best of both worlds - a win-win situation for a woman who is a wife, mum, friend and more!