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Wednesday, 15 June 2011

Inspired - thanks to YOU!

Coming Alive - again!
I had lost all hope of ever sharing my blogs. They might be too intense for some, too insightful for others and just not interesting to many... But thanks to friends and family who used the fb link and actually visited this "dying idea of sharing" that I decided to relaunch into myword. :)

So again - thanks all! and keep clued in on my madness. Only you can judge how crazy life gets ;) And please do comment - it would be lovely to see you all on the page as well - and know your true thoughts...

Picture this - I was sitting in the garden - coffee in one hand and laptop in front of me. Ahem - I was working - no seriously I was! And then, all of a sudden I felt a burn on my hand - guess what! After ages I was sitting in a warm and sunny 28 degrees, but it was HOT! My relationship with Surya Devta changed! I love him even more!!!

But that's not what the this post is about. Lets say, it's about relationships... And for some reason it takes me to my relationship - not with mum, but with my father-in-law!

There is no reason particular reason for me to think about him today - it's neither his birthday, nor the day when he passed on to the heavens above. I guess, today, I am reviving a seamless flow of writing - something he always encouraged me to do. And so, yes, he is in my thoughts.

For a man I knew for just 9 years of my adult life, he has been a strong influence, bonding me not with an "in-law" equation, but dare I say, an equal adult-to-grown-up equation. He never knew me as a child - yet, I was a "grown-up child" for him.

Let me explain - he loved me like he would his own child, he listened to me as he would an adult, he questioned me as one would a teacher, he respected me as a woman with a mind of her own... I guess he was the only one who made it clear that he accepted me for who I am, the way I am. That's what increased his value multiple levels in my eyes. Yes - that help me establish an equation that is seldom seen between father-in-law and daughter-in-law.

What I learnt from him in this short lived interaction was a lot - a lot about his patience, his strength of morals and beliefs. At times, I understood his harsh stubbornness and accepted it without judging it just as he accepted this new bride in his family without judging her.

But two of his beliefs that strike me most at the moment are:
1. Believe in what you do and you'll do it - he would go fishing in the Greifensee lake with just a simple rod, hook and good old atta and catch fish weighing a kilo. He'd leave many others with top notch rods, multi-functional hooks and live to glitzy bait absolutely in awe of his catch.

2. Don't rush things - take it easy, go at your own pace, but do what you really want to. Like writing. He never openly asked me or told me to write - put pen to paper and get on with writing my heart out. He simply mentioned occasionally how much he liked my writing and how proud he was of my work.

So here I am writing down my thoughts. Not rushing. But believing that I'll be able to air my views, get some opinions and develop further as a better human being.

Sounds too philosophical for me na! I know ;)


Vandana Mohal Dewan said...

Hey Aradhna, your comments on your father in law reminded me of my own.

As you know he passed away last year, less than 2 months before Maahi was born and his loss has been very difficult for me to deal with.

Just like your dad in law, I shared a similar equation with mine. Papa was always encouraging me to go out there and chase my dreams. The last note that he wrote on the hospital bed, had my name first, above everyone else's including his children and grand children! But it wasn't always like this between us.

We went through our own periods of turmoil before arriving at a beautiful relationship. Being the fauji he was, he was rather reserved and would talk less. Of course, in the end the whole process of talking was too much for him as it would tire him out. Yet i could discuss so many topics with him and have interesting conversations.

I was remembering him yesterday a lot when I sat covering my son's books with brown paper, because last year papa and I had sat across the dining table doing the same job. There was enjoyment in his eyes and I casually asked him "papa did you ever cover Anju or Bobby's books" to which the response was no. Because he never had the time or wasn't around. But i could see that he was thoroughly enjoying himself covering his grandson's books and that too with complete military precision and concentration. So, yeah I missed him a lot yesterday.

It is quite interesting, you know, how we get married and enter a new household and the new equations we form with our spouse's relatives and how we finally become a family...the cycle of life is very interesting and enriching.

Unknown said...

Vandy, you said it! We get married and set up a whole new range of equations with the spouse's relatives. It's amazing how we (mainly from values well-instilled by our own family in the Indian culture) become family with those completely different, at times even difficult strangers to become a family...

Unfortunately, this lovely system based on trust, patience, love and at times, even forgiveness is fast losing it's attraction and value in a large group of this new generation's self-centred set of independents...

But, I still live in the magi envelop of it - sometimes real, sometimes fake - but to be realized! :)